P5

EVALUATION OF FEEDBACK:

I received feedback for my script after doing the first draft. Lewis/Andrea looked through the script and wrote feedback for all pages so the feedback was clearer for me to make changes. It singles down what areas to work on, on that specific page. From an edited version of the draft, I will be focusing on the description and the grammar to perfect the opening, whilst keeping the plot twists. I am going to increase description in areas whilst also decreasing them towards the start of the script, in hopes of clearing the flow up. I had also aimed to alter areas where the reader would get confused, such as changing character names and adding more notifications towards which character I am talking about. I worked to change the sentences that had been highlighted in the evaluation sheet, so they now flow smoothly and vocabulary is correct. I am glad to say that I could keep the twists within the narrative and mainly had to focus on expanding or cutting down descriptions. I changed the intro to make it faster for the reader to get into the narrative and dialogue.